Kerry BeachLike most folks, I get a lot of things forwarded to me in e-mail from friends, clients and colleagues. As a rule, I do not forward anything on to any substantial portion of my address book, especially humorous messages, just because all of us get way too much e-mail. I will occasionally forward something that I think would interest specific people. Yesterday, I received a story from my old high school classmate, Betty (Hall) Peppenhorst in Memphis, TN, that is very touching, and I decided to post it here in order to share with my readers.
Betty admitted that she has seen this story before, so it may well be quite old in terms of Internet circulation. As with most of these things, I have no idea who wrote this story, so I can’t give credit to the author or reporter. The story may well be false, but if so, I suspect that somewhere there is a group of people who have shared a similar experience. Whether factual or not, the message is one that we should all remember and take to heart.
Too Busy for a Friend…
One day a teacher asked her students to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name. Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down. It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed in the papers.
That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else had said about that individual.
On Monday she gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling. “Really?” she heard whispered. “I never knew that I meant anything to anyone!” and, “I didn’t know others liked me so much,” were most of the comments.
No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. She never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn’t matter. The exercise had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another. That group of students moved on.
Several years later, one of the students was killed in Vietnam, and his teacher attended the funeral of that special student. She had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin before. He looked so handsome, so mature. The church was packed with his friends. One by one those who loved him took a last walk by the coffin. The teacher was the last one to bless the coffin. As she stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as pallbearer came up to her. “Were you Mark’s math teacher?” he asked. She nodded: “Yes.” Then he said: “Mark talked about you a lot.”
After the funeral, most of Mark’s former classmates went together to a luncheon. Mark’s mother and father were there, obviously waiting to speak with his teacher. “We want to show you something,” his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket. “They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it.”
Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times. The teacher knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which she had listed all the good things each of Mark’s classmates had said about him.
“Thank you so much for doing that,” Mark’s mother said. “As you can see, Mark treasured it.”
All of Mark’s former classmates started to gather around. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, “I still have my list… it’s in the top drawer of my desk at home.” Chuck’s wife said, “Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album.” “I have mine, too,” Marilyn said. “It’s in my diary.”
Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. “I carry this with me at all times,” Vicki said, and without batting an eyelash, she continued: “I think we all saved our lists.”
That’s when the teacher finally sat down and cried. She cried for Mark and for all his friends who would never see him again.
The density of people in society is so thick that we forget that life will end one day. And we don’t know when that one day will be. So please, tell the people you love and care for, that they are special and important. Tell them, before it is too late.
The story in the e-mail had several other sentences, designed to encourage the recipient to forward the message to everyone right away, even to the point of shaming the reader if they did not do it immediately. I have omitted those, but I will include the last line:
What you put into the lives of others comes back into your own.
That is, of course, the real message. Because this teacher was able to get young people to say to their classmates things they would probably never have thought to say in person, each of these people knew that they were loved and respected by their peers, that they had a purpose and a reason to be here, that they weren’t just another body in the sea of humanity. They were special.
Who knows what each of these students accomplished in their lives because of the power of the message of support each of them received, both from their fellow students and from their teacher.
While I don’t agree with forwarding e-mails to everybody frequently, I do agree with the sentiment expressed by the original sender: do not miss an opportunity to tell your friends how valuable they are to you, and how much you love them. Remember that the single rule in this universe is Love, for yourself and all of God’s creation. Practice Love always, and often, and you will find happiness, peace and joy.